Several weeks ago, I was listening to NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t tell me!” and heard a tidbit about the journal Evolutionary Biology publishing that research on pop songs reveals that to be a hit, a pop song has to be filled with reproductive messages (i.e., words about sex). You can see the transcript here:
http://www.npr.org/2011/09/24/140755958/limericks
Peter Sagal, the host of the radio show, quipped “I’m waiting for the first, like, successful pop group to actually use the words ‘reproductive message’ in a song. It will rocket.”
OK, so at that point, I figured that Mr. Sagal had just challenged me to write a song with “reproductive messages” in it. So, I wrote one, in the car, driving to a concert, singing the lyrics into the voice recorder of my cell phone. I was on a roll. And here’s the latest draft. Sorry, no audio to go with this–yet.
Come hither darlings,
Let me tease you a tale
‘bout how I met my sweetheart,
My own, oh, so masculine male--
v. 1 I met my baby in the corner store,
He had these eyes that I just really adore,
He had this look that I just couldn’t forget
And even though we’d really just met,
Ch. I had to give him reproductive messages,
I had to give him reproductive messages.
v. 2 I went up to him and I said with a smile,
“Hey, sweets! I really like your style,
And if we meet up I could give you a ball,
Tell me your number and I’ll give you a call, cause..
Ch. I have to leave you reproductive messages,
I have to leave you reproductive messages.
v.3 He looked right at me, and his fingers touched mine,
“I saw you laughing and I think you’re so fine,
Your smile is pretty, and your eyes are so blue,
Here is my address, could you email me too? Cause…
Ch. I want to read your reproductive messages,
I want to read your reproductive messages."
Bridge (swelling chorus lines interspersed with melody constantly rising)
So then we take a walk to my place,
[chorus sings: She thinks she loves the way he plays her!]
Where I plant kisses all over his face,
[chorus sings: She feels his hand can really slay her!]
"Oh, baby, your touch gives me a shock!
[chorus sings: She says his touch is over the top!]
Oh man, I’d like to blow your ... "Oh, don't stop!”
[chorus sings: She wants to..."Oh, don't stop!"
v.4 Now he’s my baby, and we have lots of fun,
He’s got a rhythm that gets the job done,
He talks romantic and he kisses good too,
We’re like bonobos making out at the zoo--
Ch. We’re always sending reproductive messages,
We can’t stop sending reproductive messages!
v.5 So darlings, that’s the story for you,
Any more would be just red hot and blue.
Some tales are better when twixt the lines you hear
"Oh sweet baby, just touch my--yes, right there!"
So, I’ll have to tease you with my reproductive messages..
Now, I’ll just leave you with these reproductive messages,
Go out and send your own reproductive messages…
Post updated on 11/17/11 with changes & additions to the bridge text.
The Muses of Happiness 
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